= Ok Go + Ira Glass + Zach Galifianakis + … well, you’ll have to watch to find out.
“Just look at his mouth, man… it’s freaky!”
[YouTube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6E8nLvvh1E&feature=youtube_gdata]
Won’t someone get this bear some honey?!
Filed under: humor
Improv Everywhere strikes again, this time with over 2,000 people walking their invisible dogs in Brooklyn. a couple quotes from those who participated:
Whenever anyone asked I said “well, its been raining a lot the past couple of days so the dogs had to get out. I guess everyone decided to go out at the same time.”
One lady told me that she will pray for me in church today. Barely held in my laughter.
– Danny
Conversation with two burly men as I stood outside a store:
“What’s with this?”
“I’m just waiting for a friend”
“no what’s with the dog?”
“oh they don’t allow dogs in the store”
“I don’t understand”
– Augusto
Anyone who worked with me at my last job has had firsthand experience with this particular brand of debauchery… perhaps they will even remember the time we stopped to talk to our eccentric colleague, only to have him smile devilishly at me at one point during the conversation:
“What’s up?”
“Hehe, he just peed on you”
At which point, he gave the leash a sort-of shake off.
Funny, but ugh…
Apparently, some U.S. senators are beginning to suspect that their colleague, Senator Mark Warner, the former governor of Virginia and founder of Nextel, is homeless.
“At first, I thought he was just burning the candle at both ends,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who noted that the unshaven Warner is always the first to arrive in the morning and the last to leave the Capitol at night. “But then on Sunday, I dropped by to pick up a few things and found Mark asleep under a blanket ofWashington Posts on the Senate floor.”
…
“I feel bad for the guy, I really do,” said Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT), adding that all of Warner’s mail is now forwarded to a P.O. box at Union Station. “For instance, this morning he got up from his seat, wheeled that abysmal shopping cart of his onto the Senate floor, and lobbied us to pass a $3 million ‘Spare Change Act.’”“Look, we’d love to help Mark out, but if there’s one thing Congress doesn’t believe in, it’s handouts,” Hatch added. “Plus, you know he’d just waste that money on booze or arts funding or something.”
Oh, it gets worse… read more here.
Julia Langbein writes in Gourmet Magazine about the necessity of “high-energy drinks” to power through one’s day, such as Black Mamba Venom:
Measuring up the prose of energy drinks against daily life will lead to all sorts of absurdities:
“Julia, can I get you a coffee?”
“No, I have a ton of editing to do, I need the venom of a Death Adder which has the power to strike back.”
“How about an espresso then?”
“I will bite you in your neck if you do not leave me immediately to the challenges of my intense life.”
“Look, we all have a lot of work to do.”
“You may have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of work to penetrate with my face, inject with poison, and kill.”
“Is that your heart visibly beating through your sternum?”
“Yes, it is. Jealous?”
I tried Red Bull once, and it scared the bejeezus out of me. It was at a Shamrock Festival in ’05, and saw a college kid under the influence of high-energy drink attempt to hurdle a retailer’s street sign. He didn’t make it… and it wasn’t pretty.
I’ll stick to black coffee, thank you.
From C-Span:
Humorist John Hodgman was the entertainment headliner at the 2009 Radio and TV Correspondents’ Dinner. Mr. Hodgman roasted the president for being a “nerd”, referencing his place in popular culture and passion for comics and science fiction.
I’d say there’s a 50-50 chance Obama does actually know the answers to those questions about Dune. Not that I do or anything… Why are you looking at me like that?
Nerd or not, enjoy the video below.
One day, when I have little rascals of my own, I can only hope that I won’t get caught up in the senseless competition among parents to throw the most ridiculous birthday party for their kid. This practice seems to be especially rampant in the DC metro area. What’s a parent to do?
Fortunately, once the bar has been raised this high… you might as well give up anyway and stick to sheet cake and pizza:
DC metro Craigslist Ad:
My son is turning 16 and really wanted Lil Wayne to perform for his birthday gala. Unfortunately his schedule will not permit him to make it. I need a Lil Wayne impersonator desperately.
Here is the kicker my son is blind so you do not need to look like the rapper just sound like him. I understand he grunts and mumbles a lot. I don’t care if you are 67 and Jewish if you can sing the songs you’re hired. Money is not an issue. Name your price. Interested individuals please let me know your rap experience, video of you performing as Lil Wayne would be better. If that is not feasible we can arrange for a live audition.
Serious inquiries only, this is very important to my family. Young Money Baby!
via DCist
The fine folks at Top Gear have one numerous awards for their show on auto testing. However, one viewer questioned their authenticity…
“Why do you not test cars properly anymore… have you forgotten how?” -Mr. Needham
Naturally, the gentlemen at Top Gear were a little taken aback, and gave the new Ford Fiesta (which is also coming to the US!) a good run-through. For instance, they answer such practical questions as, well:
“Is it practical?”
“Is it economical?”
“Is it fun to drive?”
“What if I go to a Shopping Centre and get chased by baddies in a Corvette?”
“What if I’m asked to take part in a beach assault with the Royal Marines?”
Find out in the video below.
Also, the Ford Fiesta tested will be the same car released in the U.S. later this year (I believe). This car has been showcased in US auto conventions this year, and I’ve even seen a couple models being shown in Georgetown, Washington, DC as part of some on-the-ground marketing schtick. I didn’t talk to the folks showing them off, but these things looked absolutely, bloody fantastic in person. Well done, Ford.
Reviews of Tucson Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz., on Amazon.com
550 of 569people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Combine with other foods!, August 5, 2006Has anyone else tried pouring this stuff over dry cereal?
A-W-E-S-O-M-E!369 of 377 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Chateau du Lait Blanc, watch out!, August 9, 2006One should not be intimidated by Tuscan Whole Milk. Nor should one prejudge, despite the fact that Tuscan is non-vintage and comes in such large containers. Do not be fooled: this is not a jug milk. I always find it important to taste milk using high-quality stemware — this is milk deserving of something better than a Flintstones plastic tumbler. One should pour just a small dollop and swirl it in the glass — note the coating and look for clots or discoloration. And the color — it should be opaque, and very, very white. Now, immerse your nose in the glass and take a whiff. Tuscan transports you instantly to scenic hill towns in central Italy (is that Montepulciano I detect?) — there is the loamy clay, the green grass of summer days, the towering cypress. And those gentle hints of Italian flowers — wild orchids, sunflowers, poppies. Then, one takes in the thick liquid and lets it roll across and under the tongue — what is that? perhaps a hint of a nutty Edam cheese? With Tuscan, you feel the love of every dairyperson involved — from the somewhat sad and deranged farmhand shovelling steaming cowpies to the bored union milk maiden dreaming of leaving this soul crushing life behind for a job waiting tables for obnoxious American tourists in Siena. But not too fast — sip gently, slowly, or one is in danger of not only missing the subtleties of the milk’s texture and its terroir, but — if chilled too long — also of giving oneself a blinding ice cream headache. Nay, savor the goodness that only dairymen and dairywomen working at the apex of their craft can deliver. Tuscan is best drunk young — no, no, don’t cellar this gem — I guarantee you’ll be sorry if you do. I recommend pairing with freshly baked macadamia nut scones. Milk Expectorator gives this one a 92.
There are so many more… click on, click on…
via Kottke
