The Blast

The Greatest Staring Contest Ever Held
July 1, 2010, 9:49 pm
Filed under: humor, video

= Ok Go + Ira Glass + Zach Galifianakis + … well, you’ll have to watch to find out.

“Just look at his mouth, man… it’s freaky!”

via This American Life


December 1, 2009, 9:13 pm
Filed under: humor


via Unplggd

Sesame Street On Mad Men
October 20, 2009, 5:54 pm
Filed under: humor, video


Won’t someone get this bear some honey?!

Invisible Dogs Take Over Brooklyn
September 29, 2009, 9:27 pm
Filed under: humor

Improv Everywhere strikes again, this time with over 2,000 people walking their invisible dogs in Brooklyn. a couple quotes from those who participated:

Whenever anyone asked I said “well, its been raining a lot the past couple of days so the dogs had to get out. I guess everyone decided to go out at the same time.”

One lady told me that she will pray for me in church today. Barely held in my laughter.

— Danny

Conversation with two burly men as I stood outside a store:

“What’s with this?”

“I’m just waiting for a friend”

“no what’s with the dog?”

“oh they don’t allow dogs in the store”

“I don’t understand”

— Augusto

Anyone who worked with me at my last job has had firsthand experience with this particular brand of debauchery… perhaps they will even remember the time we stopped to talk to our eccentric colleague, only to have him smile devilishly at me at one point during the conversation:

“What’s up?”

“Hehe, he just peed on you”

At which point, he gave the leash a sort-of shake off.

Funny, but ugh…

U.S. Senators Suspect Sen. Mark Warner May Be Homeless
August 13, 2009, 5:45 pm
Filed under: dc, humor

Apparently, some U.S. senators are beginning to suspect that their colleague, Senator Mark Warner, the former governor of Virginia and founder of Nextel, is homeless.

“At first, I thought he was just burning the candle at both ends,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who noted that the unshaven Warner is always the first to arrive in the morning and the last to leave the Capitol at night. “But then on Sunday, I dropped by to pick up a few things and found Mark asleep under a blanket ofWashington Posts on the Senate floor.”

“I feel bad for the guy, I really do,” said Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT), adding that all of Warner’s mail is now forwarded to a P.O. box at Union Station. “For instance, this morning he got up from his seat, wheeled that abysmal shopping cart of his onto the Senate floor, and lobbied us to pass a $3 million ‘Spare Change Act.'”

“Look, we’d love to help Mark out, but if there’s one thing Congress doesn’t believe in, it’s handouts,” Hatch added. “Plus, you know he’d just waste that money on booze or arts funding or something.”

Oh, it gets worse… read more here.

Fueling the Beast Within
July 26, 2009, 2:31 pm
Filed under: food, humor

Julia Langbein writes in Gourmet Magazine about the necessity of “high-energy drinks” to power through one’s day, such as Black Mamba Venom:

Measuring up the prose of energy drinks against daily life will lead to all sorts of absurdities:

“Julia, can I get you a coffee?”

“No, I have a ton of editing to do, I need the venom of a Death Adder which has the power to strike back.”

“How about an espresso then?”

“I will bite you in your neck if you do not leave me immediately to the challenges of my intense life.”

“Look, we all have a lot of work to do.”

“You may have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of work to penetrate with my face, inject with poison, and kill.”

“Is that your heart visibly beating through your sternum?”

“Yes, it is. Jealous?”

I tried Red Bull once, and it scared the bejeezus out of me. It was at a Shamrock Festival in ’05, and saw a college kid under the influence of high-energy drink attempt to hurdle a retailer’s street sign. He didn’t make it… and it wasn’t pretty.

I’ll stick to black coffee, thank you.

John Hodgman and Obama – Nerds Like Us
June 22, 2009, 6:38 am
Filed under: humor, video

From C-Span:

Humorist John Hodgman was the entertainment headliner at the 2009 Radio and TV Correspondents’ Dinner. Mr. Hodgman roasted the president for being a “nerd”, referencing his place in popular culture and passion for comics and science fiction.

I’d say there’s a 50-50 chance Obama does actually know the answers to those questions about Dune. Not that I do or anything… Why are you looking at me like that?

Nerd or not, enjoy the video below.