You will be missed, Pontiac… Perhaps too much.
“This baby just needs a little scrub down,” said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. “Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I’m cruising down Pennsylvania [Avenue].”
…
Biden, who purchased the white Pontiac in 1983, has made an annual tradition of taking time off each spring to wash and tune-up his vehicle. In 2008 alone, the veteran politician reportedly missed two dozen Senate sessions in order to spend some quality time “taking care of [his] baby.”
“He does this every year and it really seems to rejuvenate him,” Sen. Christopher Dodd (D-CT) said. “Back in 2001, the car was up on blocks in the National Mall, and he was so busy rotating those tires that he bailed on the confirmation hearings for secretary of state.”
“What’re you gonna do, though?” Dodd added. “That car rocks.”
Dodd gets it. But do the ladies?
“She’s a real beaut, ain’t she?” said Biden, popping open a wide-mouth can of Coors Light and tilting back his head to take a long drink. “Back when Smokey And The Bandit came out, everyone wanted the black paint job, but looking back now, I’m thankful the dealership didn’t have it in stock.”
“Oops, looks like I got a little brewha in the flavor-saver,” added Biden, referring to his wispy, four-day-old mustache. “Any of you girls care to join me for another tallboy?”
Find this out, and more, at The Onion
Irina Blok, has made a series of “fashion surgical masks” to, I don’t know, add that much needed dose of humor at the airport while your body temp is being scanned at the airport, and the toddler next to you is coughing and sneezing and running around touching everyone and everything that he can, followed by a showing of Outbreak for the in-flight movie, wondering how in the world are you going to enjoy those tiny little pretzels and the cup of water you had to pay for.
Or, perhaps you can rock these walking around in public, nodding to your friends in the neighborhood as they watch you walk your dog from the living room of their home, which has been completely taped down and sealed, while they subsist on the cans of spam and rolls of ritz (if they were lucky) they stockpiled, wondering how long it will take to train their outdoor cat how to use the facilities instead.
Either way, good luck getting your hands on these puppies.
I am planning to produce very limited edition of these in about 4 weeks and they will cost about $10 (plus $3 S&H).Email me to get your name on the list…
Too little too late? I hope not. I quite fashion the beardface one myself.
My favorite part has to be the nutrition facts of grandma. What’s yours?
See for yourself on Vimeo
Sure Segways are cool and all, and everyone thought it would revolutionize transportation. One problem, they’re too damn expensive, otherwise people’d be zooming all over downtown DC in one of these bad boys (no, the tourists and joyriders don’t count). So, the only conclusion is to HenryFord these badboys.
Behold, the Legway:
Best of all, you can build it yourself!
The only thing missing is a place for a bumper sticker that reads “Self-Balancing is for Wimps!”
Filed under: humor
The Rodenator Pro pumps propane and oxygen into the tunnels of squirrels, then sends an electric spark that causes an explosion. The shock waves kill the squirrels and collapse their tunnels – but in a humane way, the agency said.
Where’s Bill Murray when you need him….
Only now, with the advent of Potato Day, has tyranny come to our shores.
Add Drums… then Horns… then Strings… and add a dash of Electric Guitar at the end for the best bowl of cereal of.your.life.
The Blast 
