The Blast


Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway
May 6, 2009, 11:08 pm
Filed under: dc, humor, theonion

You will be missed, Pontiac… Perhaps too much.

“This baby just needs a little scrub down,” said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. “Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I’m cruising down Pennsylvania [Avenue].”

Biden, who purchased the white Pontiac in 1983, has made an annual tradition of taking time off each spring to wash and tune-up his vehicle. In 2008 alone, the veteran politician reportedly missed two dozen Senate sessions in order to spend some quality time “taking care of [his] baby.”

“He does this every year and it really seems to rejuvenate him,” Sen. Christopher Dodd (D-CT) said. “Back in 2001, the car was up on blocks in the National Mall, and he was so busy rotating those tires that he bailed on the confirmation hearings for secretary of state.”

“What’re you gonna do, though?” Dodd added. “That car rocks.”

Dodd gets it. But do the ladies?

“She’s a real beaut, ain’t she?” said Biden, popping open a wide-mouth can of Coors Light and tilting back his head to take a long drink. “Back when Smokey And The Bandit came out, everyone wanted the black paint job, but looking back now, I’m thankful the dealership didn’t have it in stock.”

“Oops, looks like I got a little brewha in the flavor-saver,” added Biden, referring to his wispy, four-day-old mustache. “Any of you girls care to join me for another tallboy?”

Find this out, and more, at The Onion

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